Confessions Sessions

Instead of repeatedly tweeting, here's a simply guide to how the confession sessions work.

I love confessions. Those things we've done that sit inside our minds either eating away at us, amusing us, or secretly delighting us. You want to tell to either absolve yourself or simply to amuse. Perhaps even you think others may have done these things too.

The anonymity of the web is perfect for this. Send me yours and I will retweet them anonymously to my followers. No one will ever know it's you.

I've done a few of these before and love the variety of strange, perverse and delightfully funny things that people are willing to tell the world, so long as no one knows it's them.

Some previous examples include the man who asked a girl to stop giving him a blow job in a cinema because he was enjoying the film too much.

A girl who couldn't tell her fiance his father had tried to kiss her, and she didn't want to stop him.

The person who as a child used to get his pet hamster out of its cage and fart on it to amuse his friends.

Or the many people who've sustained injuries from athletic sex ranging from painful snapages to dislocated knees.

There are two ways to confess. Either DM me. I'll be following everyone who follows me tonight so they can. You can even @ me and ask for a follow and I'll do just that.

WITH A 100% GUARANTEE I WILL UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY.

I've done this many times, and I never, ever have. And don't worry that I'll know who you are. One, I neither care nor will I judge you. That's a promise. Confessing is a brave step and I'm not going to laugh, criticise or otherwise make any valuation of your confessions. Two, I've got a rubbish memory. I have already forgotten whoever those above confessions were from. By next week your confession will just be a random selection of letters I once read and retyped.

The second way if you want true anonymity or you don't trust me (which despite my assurances this is nothing to worry about is obviously something some people may not feel comfortable with) then you can set up a throwaway email account and send them to yourconfessionstellmethem@gmail.com

That's your confessions tell me them at gmail dot com - but with no spaces.

A couple of rules. No serious criminal confessions. I'm not going to lay out exactly what's a serious crime and what isn't - but you're not idiots, so you can work that out. Secondly, nothing that can lead to a third party's identification in a confession.

I will sometimes edit tweets and emails for brevity and just in case a identifying detail has slipped through, but I won't corrupt what you've said to make it more or less salacious.

So - there you go. YOUR CONFESSIONS TELL ME THEM!